Influence Positive | Ephesians 6 :1-4

Let us pray,

Open our ears, o Lord, to hear your word and know your voice, speak to our ears and strengthen our wills that we may serve you today/now and always. Amen.

Let us hear the word of God as it is recorded in the epistle of Paul to the Ephesians chapter 6:verses1 to 4.

song

Greetings to you all in the matchless name of our Lord Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.

I would like to begin my sermon with an illustration which inspired me a lot, there was a person named Benjamin, later who became a Great painter.  Benjamin tells how he became a painter.  One day his mother went out, leaving him in charge of his little sister sally.  In his mother’s absence he discovered some bottles of colored ink and began to paint sally’s portrait.  In doing so, he made a considerable mess of things with ink bolts all over.  His mother came back.  She saw the mess but said nothing.  She picked up the piece of paper and saw the drawing.  “Why”, she said “its sally!” and she stopped and kissed him. Even after Benjamin west used to say: “My mother’s kiss made me a painter.” Encouragement did more than rebuke could ever do.

The context

Here, Paul uses the term teknon (which means a child) instead of paidia (the rearing of a child, training, discipline). Paul’s advice in Ephesians remains general, but is more elaborate, more positive, and more distinctive that the authority structure of the ancient household is maintained.

In Judaism, children’s attitude to their parents was often set alongside and seen as part of their relationship to God.

In a Greco- Roman context children always ran the risk of being rejected and exposed.  In the time of Paul that risk was even greater.  We have seen how the marriage bond had collapsed and how men and women changed their partners with confusing rapidity. There, they became the property of anyone who cared to pick them up. They were collected at night by people who nourished them in order to sell them as slaves or to stock the brothels of Rome.

Likewise in today’s context we are living in a modern world and technology, as a parent of child we are unable to see their perspectives rather we discriminate by imposing our thoughts and ideas.

There is no freedom to select or choose their career but we ourselves determine their career what they wanted to be in the future. On the other hand parents are really motivating and tapping their children to grow and choose their career according to their wish. There are two sides but as a theological/Christian community what is our concern towards this. Every child is important but it relies on their parents because parents are important ones to guide, discipline and influence and then be a role model for the children.

Let us discuss with three divisions,

Firstly, 

Parental love as guidance

        First, Paul had already addressed the subordinate group, women. So, here again he follows a similar pattern, appealing first to the children to obey their parents. They have to obey, as it is part of their commitment to the Lord, because such behavior is generally held to be right, and honoring father and mother is enjoined on children by the fifth commandment. Additionally this commandment is the first and foremost in the law that has a promise attached to it.

Understanding child’s temperament is an essential part of creating a strong parent-child bond. It is also a key indicator of how children will respond to parent’s guidance and the types of discipline that will be most effective for him/her that parent observes their child’s behaviors, such as level of activity, emotional intensity, social habits, adaptability, and persistence. Then we can begin to expect which situations may be easy or more difficult.

So that we can guide our child in many ways. We can model good behavior, encourage them through love and set consistent limits. As a parent, your model should be appropriate in the way that you talk and walk and also showing love.  So their relationship between parent and children is strongly bonded with love. It’s really wonderful to love and to be loved.

Secondly,

Parental authority as discipline

Discipline is probably one of the most misunderstood words in the parenting vocabulary. When parents talk of discipline they often think of punishments like beating children. But children are not seen as subject to the power of their parents. Therefore they are treated as objects. It is significant that Paul treats them as responsible moral agents to who appeal needs to be made to their parents in obedience.

            There was the custom of child exposure. When a child was born it was placed before its father’s feet.  And if the father stopped and lifted the child that meant that he acknowledged it and wished it to be kept.  If he turned and walked away.  It meant that he refused to acknowledge it and the child could quite literally be thrown out. Paul’s exhortation to parents mentioned in andro-centric perspective, since it is not addressed to both parents but to fathers only, and reminds them not of their authority but of their responsibility.

This responsibility is expressed both negatively and positively. They are not to abuse their authority by making their children angry. Instead, their rearing of their children should be marked by the sort of training and warning that is determined by their relationship to their Lord and that educates their children in the tradition about this Lord. Teaching and correcting of children through practical.

Thirdly,

Parental instruction as influence

We as parents and future parents often forget the duty of encouragement instead we discourage them not to make their decision.

I know a boy nearby my home, who was an excellent and efficient student. Due to his health problems he failed in his higher secondary exams. Perhaps he has chance to clear those arrears but their parents made him to take wrong decision to lose his life.  After results came his parents were scolded and beaten him, which made him to choose wrong way. In today’s context most of us are excel in studies rather we fail to achieve in our real life. If Thomas alwa Edison had thought when he started his new invention of his light surely he would have not succeeded but he has taken every failure as stepping stone for his life so he achieved. So be positive and motivate our children also in positive manner.

I would like say real incident which has happened in Martin Luther’s life that is, Martin Luther’s father was very strict to the point of cruelty.  Luther used to say “spare the rod and spoil the child – that is true; but beside the rod keep an apple to give him when he has done well.” we should appreciate our children when they obey and follow our instructions. This makes a positive influence of companionship with the children.

Conclusion

            Let me conclude one of the sayings in Tamil from Indian philosophy that is matha pitha guru theivam which means father and mother come first before teacher and God. So parents are the real role model to our children to choose their career. It lies in the hands of parents if child to go right or wrong path. I would suggest all the parents, guide their children to go positive manner. As a theological community what is our concern and response to this. As per my concern we dependant on focused on only limited circle but we should extend ourselves to wider perspective to think every child as my child and we need to nourish them in right way to get the fruit of success.