Bijoy

Introduction:

Bijoy, at the age of eighteen baptized as Christian. Bijoy was a chick, who was treated as low castes and untouchables. The normal age for a chick boy to get married is of between fourteen to eighteen years of age. Bijoy parents want him to marry a girl from chick community but which was opposed by the local church pastor where Bijoy attends saying that he will be excommunicated if he marries a non-Christian girl.

Now he stood apart from his parents and decided to marry a Christian girl but to his shock his friends replied “the members of Christian community will not give their daughters or sisters to you to marry, for you are of a different Caste”. Bijoy knew that there would be cultural, social and linguistic barriers to prevent them from giving their girls to marry a chick boy.

Bijoy felt that he had been left with an impossible decision. If he obeyed his parents, he must live the Christianity. He sat alone and tried to pray, “Must I remain unmarried for the sake of my Christian faith and life?” 

Family Perspective

Family will try to choose a girl from their family background, who will have some requirements for a girl to be married to their boy. Family mostly looks a girl from same caste, culture and religion, so that they may not face any Problems with her in the future. Families look for all these particulars because the girl who comes from different background need to understand and adjust to the situations. Here, if a person is converted to Christianity from other religion then he/she cannot be wished to unite in marriage unless they are from same caste.

Socio cultural Issues of this case study

The given case study deals with some major issues, they are.

Caste

In the given case study Caste plays a major role. The boy Bijoy belongs to low caste and was baptized as Christian at the age of eighteen years. As he was a low caste person no Christian girl will be given for marriage and if Bijoy marries from his own community girl then he will be excommunicated from the church. Caste stood as a barrier from him to marry a Christian girl.

Religion

Bijoy was originally a Hindu, but due to his friends and the Christians teachings, songs and Bhajans he was attracted towards Christianity and took baptism and became Christian. Even though he became Christian, no other Christian girl will be given for him to marry and if he marries any Hindu girl from his own community he will be excommunicated, so he was in dilemma what to do at this stage. Here, even though Bijoy converted to Christianity, his identity is being made from the perspective of his caste.

Bijoy’s Understanding of Ten Commandments

Bijoy was more concerned about the commandment “Honor your Father and Mother”. If Bijoy literally following that commandment, then he need to understand whether his parents will be honored by obeying them or by making them happy by the way of living. Bijoy need to understand the true meaning for “Honor your Father and Mother”.

Excommunication

The problem of excommunication comes here is that “He will be excommunicated, if he marries a non-Christian girl”. This made him de decide to go against his parents to marry a Christian girl where he can be in Christianity and can live as Christian. But even this didn’t work properly as he belongs to low caste no Christians were coming forward to give their daughters/ sisters for marriage.

Pastor’s role

Pastor in this case also became one sided, pastor said “you will be excommunicated if you marry a non-Christian girl”. Pastor need to make him understand the existing social and political context why a Christian cannot marry a non- Christian. But Pastor failed to explain this to Bijoy.

Rites of Christian Marriage Act

In Christian marital perspective, Christians try to find a girl/boy from the Christian family background. They search only in view of Christians without bothering of their caste or sect. For a girl or boy wished to unite by means of a Christian marriage, they both should be believers of Christ and need to be baptized by any pastor of the Church and should be confined by the Community. In Christian marital perspective only the families of both bride and groom will look on the way of life they were living in the society. Once any person is converted from other religion to Christian then “She/he must be called as Christian but not by any other Caste or religion”.

Christian marriage is conducted by agreeing on some views

·         The marriage should be under the Scriptural Basis and Christian Faith.

·         The marriage should be agreeable to Society and Church.

·         Both Bride and Groom who are going to marry need to agree on all the Christian Principles.

·         If any one of Bride or Groom doesn’t exceed minority then their parents should be responsible for that legal issues.

Under acceptance of all these principles Christian marriage is conducted and declares both man and women “from now on you were called as Husband and Wife”.

Pastoral intervention

Pastor’s intervention is very much needed. The pastor has to counsel the Bijoy who was in a state of mind that “whether he needs to remain as unmarried for the sake of Christian faith and life”. Thus pastor should counsel him that “God made man and women to be united by the act of marriage and that is very much allowed in the Christian life”. Tell him that there is no need to bother about the marriage because as believers of Christ, God will take care of our every problems. We are worshipping a God who never leaves nor forsakes us. Here, pastoral counseling is needed to the Christian families who are not willing to give their daughters or sisters for marriage by other Christians who are of low castes. In Christianity there is no place for caste and sect, we all are same and created in the image of God in sharing his love.

Suggestions

When God created this world God could not find a right partner for Adam. So God created Eve from Adam’s rib and gave her to Adam. Thus God thought women will be the right partner for man and blessed both of them to fill the earth. Thus in order to satisfy the desires, man and women are dependent on each other and they became united by the act of marriage. The present case study deals with problems in unity of marriage of a Boy (Bijoy) who was from low caste converted to Christianity, because of which no Christian were coming forward to marry Him and who will be excommunicated if he marries a non-Christian girl.

Some suggestions can be made to Bijoy but the final decision will be left over to Bijoy as he is mature enough to take a decision about his life.

·         Bijoy can marry a chick girl who is converted to Christianity as like him.

·         Bijoy can marry a Christian girl where he can promise all the cultural, social and linguistic barriers can be prevented and make her adjust with his family.

·         Bijoy can marry a chick girl and teach about Jesus Christ and Convert her to Christianity in order not to be excommunicated from Christianity.

·         Bijoy can love a Christian girl who can understand him better.

·         As a pastor, I will pray for him and would search a girl for him.

Theological Considerations

As God said “It is not good for a man to live alone so he made a women as a best partner” whom they can fulfill their desires and also fills the earth. One need to have a person who shares happiness, sorrows and whom can be called as spouse.

Jesus Christ said “From the beginning God made men and women, for this reason man will leave his father and mother and unites with his wife and they will be called as one”. Thus, whom God made one, man should not separate them.

Paul says “Marriage is Honorable in all”, he means to say there is nothing which can be honored more than marriage. Paul also says “All men love your wives as how Jesus loves your Church”. Thus by all this views marriage is considered to be honored in Christianity then there is no point for Bijoy to be remained as unmarried for the sake of his Christian faith or life.

My Reflection

Bijoy should satisfy his parents and also himself. Thus being in Christianity he can marry a chick girl who was converted like him, who accepted Christ as her personal savior. Thus for Bijoy no need to remain as unmarried for the sake of his Christian life and faith. As marriage is considered as honorable in all the worldly things, marriage is the great privilege given to human kind from God the creator. Marriage is made to unite two families to share their joy, sorrow and many things together. Thus our Indian culture has a special importance for the act of marriage and its rituals which are considered as holy.